Why I Teach Sex Ed: Bloomington, IN

Jessi Ensenberger

"You Can't Get Pregnant Standing Up":
Why America Should Beef Up on Peer Education

by Jessi Ensenberger, Planned Parenthood of Indiana

Last year I became a peer educator with Planned Parenthood of Indiana in Bloomington, Indiana. I am extremely passionate about spreading comprehensive, medically accurate knowledge about sexuality; but this isn’t the only reason I became involved in the program. I find that not only is my position as an educator important and rewarding, but the adjective “peer” carries a significant amount of weight with my age group.

Over and over again it has been proven to me that teens and college students often do not get their information about sexuality or relationships from parents, doctors, or experts. Sometimes they search online and find youth-friendly, accurate sources, like the Planned Parenthood site or Scarleteen. Most times they assume that romance movies like The Notebook or comedies like Wedding Crashers represent reality. Worst of all is what pornography tells our youth: that men have penises the size of cucumbers, women orgasm at the drop of a hat, and violence and sex are inseparable concepts.

But most of all, young people ask their friends what is normal, what is healthy, and what is acceptable.  And let’s be honest, sometimes our friends aren’t the most accurate sources—because they’ve heard the same rumors that we have. That you can’t get pregnant if you have sex standing up, for example. Or that you can contract HIV from someone’s saliva. (Both of which are not true, by the way.)

It is unfortunate that professionals, even those considered experts, many times are not taken seriously by students because they can be waved off as “old-fashioned” or “out-of-touch” with the current generation. And in the current generation’s defense, college culture has changed quite a bit in the last twenty to thirty years. It makes sense that an informed young adult might have more impact on a young adult audience.

Our culture’s Closed Door Policy on family sex education has also had a hand in creating this generation gap. None of us want to discuss sexuality with our parents or, even more horrifying, our grandparents! When was the last time you asked a relative 20+ years older than you about how common dry humping is among young people, or if there is sperm in pre-ejaculate? (Answers being “very” and “sometimes,” respectively.) And in a lot of cases, parents are equally horrified by questions such as these—either because they don’t know how to talk about sex with their kids or because they simply don’t have the answers.

As much as I’d like everyone to recognize that sexuality remains with you over your entire lifetime, most people don’t want to accept it until they themselves are senior citizens and still gettin’ it on. I’d also love for our society to feel more open discussing sexuality in family settings, but Rome wasn’t built in a day!

Until we’ve made these strides as a society, peer education will remain unique and invaluable—and I plan to savor my role in it as long as I can still be considered a peer. When I stand in front of students giving a program, I know my audience feels that I am on their level. We have both witnessed firsthand the drinking and hooking-up culture so common to college campuses. I understand the most current issues, misinformation, and complexities that abound in this culture because it directly and inevitably affects me.

I also know that some individuals in need of help may not have approached me if it had not been for both my status as a peer and my reputation as a source of accurate information. These two identities, when working in tandem, have the opportunity to do a whole lot of good.

I look forward to working more closely with Planned Parenthood to recruit more peer educators, create an informed youth and facilitate a healthier tomorrow.

Editor's Note:

"Why I Teach Sex Ed" profiles sexuality educators throughout the nation.  This column appears each Monday.  If you teach sex ed and would like to tell your story, send your submission, in 350-700 words, to Bill@SexEdStore.com.

Why I Teach Sex Ed: Brooklyn, NY

by Kirsten deFur

Kirsten deFur wrote these lessons for the 

forthcoming 3rd ed. of Teaching Safer Sex: 

"Defining Sexual Health" and "I Feel Good!" (vol. 1) 

and "Be Afraid! Be Very Afraid" (vol. 2) 

Contributing author to Teaching Safer Sex

I had just started 8th grade at Byrd middle school in Richmond, VA. It was the beginning of the school year, so must have been September. My parents told me that I would be taking a class at church called About Your Sexuality (AYS). They said it would be every Sunday, during church, for the ENTIRE school year. I was not excited. I believe I even refused to go. To that, my parents said that if I went to the first few classes and was really unhappy, that I didn’t have to keep going. I figured that was a good compromise, so I agreed. And thank goodness! Because that class was probably one of the best things that I did as I was entering the tumultuous time of being a teenager. Not only did I learn about REALLY important stuff, I also developed some wonderful friendships with the other kids in the class, and I’m proud to say that many of them are still my friends today, almost 20 years later.


That was in 8th grade, and it wasn’t until my senior year of college that I realized what the impact that AYS class would have on my entire life. I was in my final semester of college at the University of North Carolina at Greensboro, pursuing a double major in flute performance and religious studies, when a professor suggested that I get an internship for the summer. As I was searching for positions in the DC area, I stumbled upon several intriguing opportunities at organizations such as the Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States (SIECUS) and the National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy. While I had always been vocal about sexual health issues such as abortion, I had always argued that we should be trying to reduce the need for abortion in the first place- an approach of prevention and education. In this search for a summer internship, I realized two things - that first of all there actually was a professional field of sexuality education, and second, I was really comfortable talking about sexuality with pretty much anyone- and that is a skill that not many people have. I recalled my own positive educational experience attending AYS, and thought, I would love to provide the others with a similarly comfortable, safe environment in which to learn about and explore the complicated topic of sexuality. That summer I did land an internship in the government relations department at the National Abortion and Reproductive Rights Action League (NARAL, now Pro-Choice America). While it wasn’t quite sexuality education, it was in the right direction!


So, in the midst of preparing for my senior flute recital and wrapping up my degree in religious studies, I figured out that the career path of sexuality education fit me like a glove. On discussing this decision with friends, they all agreed that my ‘skill’ of talking openly and honestly about sexuality would be put to good use!


The next steps on this path included working as a consultant updating sex ed resources for the Virginia Department of Education, volunteering as a sex educator for Richmond’s Planned Parenthood, teaching the 4th-6th grade Our Whole Lives program at the Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Arlington, VA, and then moving to New York City to get my masters of public health in sexuality and health at Columbia University. Since finishing my masters in 2006, I have become a trainer for the adult/young adult age groups of the Our Whole Lives program in addition to teaching almost all of the OWL levels, among other professional accomplishments.


And this blog represents the next steps on my path to sexuality education stardom. I look forward to sharing my thoughts and ideas about sexuality education approaches and methods, as well as engaging in dialogue with other professionals about best practices.


Ps. I have been known to occasionally pick up my flute from time to time, so all that practice doesn’t go completely down the drain!





Editor's Note:
"Why I Teach Sex Ed" profiles sexuality educators throughout the nation.  This column appears each Monday.  If you teach sex ed and would like to tell your story, send your submission, in 350-700 words, to Bill@SexEdStore.com.

A New Era of Teaching Safer Sex!

by Bill Taverner

Both volumes of the preliminary draft of Teaching Safer Sex, 3rd ed. are now in the hands of our editorial advisory board, as well as other experts in sexuality education, and our copyeditor.  So for the first time since I dove into this project full-force a year ago, I am finding myself trying to say goodbye to old routines, like 10-hour days typing away at Starbucks and Panera Bread Company --- places that became so familiar with me they greeted me the same way the gang used to greet Norm when he entered Cheers.  I'll miss the odd experience of writing a book in the Facebook generation. Whenever I was stumped for a citation, one of my Facebook friends would invariably have a citation at their fingertips! I'll also miss my 6-hour Skype meetings with co-editor Dr. Susan Milstein.  Those were fun! Sometimes it was about pedagogy.  Sometimes it was about gathering the most recent facts. And sometimes it was debates over which was the "right" font.  (Our copyeditor informs me that Dr. Milstein won that argument.)

So, what is Teaching Safer Sex, and what's so new about it? It's an expanded third edition of the original work by Peggy Brick and colleagues that revolutionized safer sex education.  If you are old enough to remember learning --- or teaching --- about the subject in the mid 1980s, you will surely remember an abundance of lectures about "t-cells" and "viral load".  This is how STD-prevention education was done in the early years of HIV.  Lots and lots of facts about a disease that everyone was just learning about.

Peggy knew that this wasn't what people really needed.  Knowing the genetic composition of a virus had little to do with helping students develop the SKILLS to practice safer sex and take care of their sexual health.  Peggy and her colleagues developed highly engaging, interactive, vibrant lessons and activities that helped people become more comfortable talking about condoms and other aspects of sexual health.  The lessons challenged negative attitudes that were getting in the way of sexual health, such as "good girls don't carry condoms".  The lessons were cognizant of varying degrees of readiness with respect to sexual activity and risk reduction.

The new edition carries on the tradition.  It has been a privilege working with my friends and co-editors Dr. Milstein and Sue Montfort. We updated old lessons, developed new ones, and selected from (and then edited) dozens of submissions from outstanding sexuality educators nationwide.  The result is 50 LESSONS in TWO VOLUMES! The new lessons explore culture, inclusivity, relationships, sexting, sexual pleasure, and much more in an effort to continue to expand the scope of “sexual safety”.

And now we must wait while both volumes are reviewed by experts. We did hear back from two of our reviewers so far.  Here is what they said:

"Teaching Safer Sex is a welcome collection of lessons that skillfully combine the fundamentals of safer sex education with the bold inclusion of relevant, timely, nuanced topics not found in existing teaching and learning materials. Thanks for filling the gaps in the conventional wisdom of contemporary, comprehensive safer sex education. We expect nothing less from the trailblazing team at the Center for Family Life Education!"

Maria Bakaroudis, MA, CSE, PhD (c)

International Sexuality Educator and United Nations Consultant

“Teaching Safer Sex is a valuable new resource for sexuality educators that are seeking dynamic, interactive lessons on cutting edge topics. The third edition includes tools for addressing online behavior, texting, and use of other digital media which are critical for today’s youth and missing from many curricula. This manual is a welcome addition to the Center for Family Life Education’s terrific selection of sex education resources.”

Leslie M. Kantor, MPH

Vice President for Education 

Planned Parenthood Federation of America

After we implement feedback by reviewers, we expect to have the new edition in print in March.  Meanwhile, I hope you’ll take a moment to check out the preliminary table of contents.

When you visit the website, we hope you'll appreciate that in this age of high-priced curricula that cost hundreds of dollars, we decided to keep Teaching Safer Sex at an affordable $55 per volume. And the full set is available at a special pre-order price of $80.

Moreover, please know that your purchase helps support the Sex Ed initiatives at the CFLE.

And, if you have any suggestions on new routines to replace Panera's, drop me a line!