Feel Your Balls! Teaching about Testicular Cancer

By Megara Bell, Partners in Sex Education

The best workshop that I went to at CFLE’s National Sex Ed Conference was one that I didn’t even intend to go to.  A workshop that I couldn’t have predicted would be as interesting or as relevant as it was.  

I passed Matthew Morales on my way to another workshop and he seemed so enthusiastic that I made a last minute change of plans.  His workshop, "The Testicular Whisperer," on testicular cancer self-exam, was riveting.  We learned all about the complicated and fascinating anatomy of testicles.  Testicles are spoken of symbolically, and humorously, with reverence and scorn, but rarely explained as an anatomical and reproductive miracle.  While we talk to women about breast cancer, breast health, breast self-exam, while we devote much needed attention to the important topic of breast cancer, we never give testicular health its due.  But testicular cancer is easy to check for, and has the highest survivability, provided it is caught in time, and is the only cancer that affects primarily young men.  Testicle cancer is the #1 cancer killer for men in their 20s and 30s, and is so easy to detect.  Since the majority of my students are young men, why wouldn’t I be teaching testicular care? 

"Snow Balls" illustration by
Demetri Martin on WhoSay

How to choose a workshop?  Forget the title, maybe even the subject. Choose the workshop with the best and most passionate presenter and you will never go wrong.  Thank you, Testicular Whisperer, for enthusiastically advocating for men’s health and shining a light into the drawers of young men everywhere. 

Learn more testicular cancer facts at http://www.tc-cancer.com/facts.html and here Tom Green (comedian, testicular cancer survivor) sing "Feel Your Balls" here.

A Sex Ed Movement

by Cindy Lee Alves

Although I have heard many great things about Bill Taverner and the CFLE in the past, this was my first time attending their National Sex Ed Conference. I attended not only the entire conference, but a pre-conference workshop (“Sex Ed Games that Teach” with Melissa Keyes DiGioia & Jessica Shields, CHES), and was very pleased with what was offered. Kudos to all who contributed to the variety of workshops and keynotes offered; they truly reflected how diverse and multidisciplinary human sexuality is. Regardless of whether you are an independent educator, an instructor at a community based organization, or a medical practitioner, you left fulfilled and ready to tackle some teachable moments of your own. I congregated with some fabulous people from all over the globe who contribute substantially to our field, many of which are fellow Widener alumni. It feels great to consider such noteworthy individuals as my colleagues and I left the conference inspired and reassured that I am a part of a movement that affects us ALL in such a positive way.

In “Sex and Happiness”, a workshop facilitated by Molly Stranahan, Psy.D. & Bill Taverner, M.A., CSE, Dr. Stranahan stated “Happiness isn’t a result of what happens to us … it is a result of the story we tell ourselves about what happens to us.” There are indeed instances where being in the human sexuality field can be discouraging and saddening - opposition fighting against comprehensive sexuality education, populations being seen as “deviant”, professionals not taken as seriously by cohorts, media, etc. However, an event such as the CFLE conference should motivate those with such “stories” to ignite their passion for change and progression. Let us use all those negative forces as fuel to continue all of our dedicated, extensive work. Together, we are a powerhouse!

Sex Educators: These are My People!

by Amy Kramer, The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy

“These are my people.”  That’s what I thought as soon as I walked in to the CFLE's National Sex Ed Conference.  It was the first time I’d been to this annual event, though hopefully not the last.   Not only was I able to sit in on some really interesting workshops , but I was fortunate enough receive an award on behalf of The National Campaign, and to deliver a keynote about using MTV’s “16 and Pregnant” as a teaching tool with teens.

“16 and Pregnant” is a topic I’ve discussed many times in many settings over the past few years.  Still, this may have been my favorite presentation yet – not just because the feedback was good and the follow-up questions were great – but because it is particularly empowering to be in a room full of colleagues who have made sex education their life’s work.   Sex educators are the friendliest bunch of folks you could ever hope to meet.   Plus, it’s refreshing to be with people who can say “vagina” without blushing.  

I feel more optimistic about the future when I know there are dedicated professionals intent on finding ways to reach young people (and old people, but young people especially) with helpful messages about sex, pregnancy prevention, contraception, and healthy relationships.  Not just the biology lessons, but the other parts of the puzzle that are perhaps even more meaningful and relevant to the audience.  After all, sex isn’t only about body parts – it’s about feelings and hopes and dreams.  When it comes to sex, what you don’t know can put you at risk and can affect the lives of those around you. 

Many thanks to the good people at the CFLE, the innovative workshop presenters, and the smart participants who made at the conference a terrific success.   

Sex Ed Conference Virgin

by Jennifer Hill, The College of New Jersey

CFLE’s National Sex Ed Conference was the most useful, engaging, and interesting professional sex ed conference I have ever attended.

Okay, full disclosure: it’s the first sex ed conference I have ever attended.  Unlike many the attendees there, I am new to the sex ed professional world.  Of course, I’ve been volunteering with various Planned Parenthood’s for years, and I want to make sex ed my career, but I haven’t figured out how to make that happen yet.  Which is why, when I read about 300 sex ed professionals from around the country (and world!) all coming together in the same place for three days, you can be sure it took me less than 3 minutes to sign up.  I thought about all the amazing networking opportunities, and I was absolutely right.

The thing I love about sex ed professionals is that everyone loves what they are doing, everyone loves telling you about how much they love what they are doing, and everyone wants you to be a sex ed professional and love it too.  As far as networking goes, CFLE’s attendees were a pretty fantastic bunch.  I was impressed by the breadth of topics covered at the workshops and how engaging the speakers were, to be sure.  However, I was most impressed by the conference attendees and how willing they were to offer advice, share knowledge, and trade e-mail addresses.  Thanks to everyone I spoke to, and to all the wonderful presenters.  You can be sure I’ll be back next year!

The Golden Brick Award, Honoring Susie Wilson

by Peggy Brick

Editor's Note:  Following is a transcript of the remarks given by Peggy Brick on December 9, 2011 at the CFLE National Sex Ed Conference, in honor of Susie Wilson, recipient of the 2011 Golden Brick Award.

Susie Wilson! Visionary! Reformer! Advocate! Catalyst! Sexuality Educator par excellence! What a joy it is for me to celebrate you with the Golden Brick Award, one of many awards recognizing your unique contribution to the sexual health and happiness of adolescents in this confusing society. What a legacy you have created and continue to create!

For thirty-three years you have led us, inspired us, and pushed us to act in behalf of the sexual rights of young people. From that fateful day at a New Jersey Board of Education meeting when you were the only Board Member to ask questions following a research report on pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases among New Jersey teens until today when you continue to ask probing questions and promote sexual sanity on your New Jersey Newsroom Blog, you have never stopped. Tireless, determined, unflappable, you have persistently articulated your outrage at the forces that would demean adolescents and deprive them of the education they need. Writing, speaking, organizing, fund-raising, coalition-building, you led the way for thousands of us educators in schools and agencies throughout the state and the nation. You are the model of the multiple roles a leader must play in this seemingly endless battle in behalf of young people of this nation.

I refresh my memory by reviewing the manual created in 2003 to celebrate the Network’s “20 Years of Great Sex (Ed)”. Here is evidence that shows you really are a miracle worker. On the front cover: a list of 37 collaborating organizations and I’ll bet you had personal contacts with the leaders of every one. And the back cover lists 60 state and national foundations and government agencies that had supported the work of the Network. Sixty! However do you do it? Oh! You have connections – living there in Princeton with your dear husband, the well-known, politically sophisticated, and ever supportive Don Wilson. Sometimes it seems you know everyone important! How wonderful that you are fearless in promoting your cause, our cause, with so many important people in such important places.

Perhaps most exciting for me is the way you created an organization that honors young people by respecting their ability to take responsibility and make wise decisions. Susie, you have accomplished with teens the “Critical Consciousness” Paulo Freire, educator of Brazilian peasants, calls for in his book Pedagogy of the Oppressed. While American teens are not oppressed in the same way as were Freire’s peasants, they are oppressed by an exploitative sexual environment against which they must struggle for knowledge, rights and values. I believe the projects of the Network for Family Life Education, now Answer, promote Critical Consciousness.” Sex, Etc., being “by teens, for teens,” is a perfect model. Teens identify the issues that concern them, take varied positions on controversial topics, and write on subjects almost no one else has dared to tackle. How brave you have been: validating adolescents and strengthening their ability to make positive life decisions. Best of all, over the years you recruited a superb staff who have taken your vision and implemented it in ever more creative ways. How proud you must be of Answer today, a powerful force for a truly comprehensive sexuality education.

Susie, thank you, too, for the many ways you have validated individual professionals working in the field. So many of us have “Thank You, Susie” stories to tell. One of hundreds examples is my own enlistment in the cause. When in 1980 you accomplished the New Jersey Mandate for Family Life Education, I was on the Board of Planned Parenthood of Bergen County – later merged to become this famous PPGNNJ now celebrating your achievements! We had a sexuality department that was soon renamed: The Center for Family Life Education. In order to implement the Mandate, teachers everywhere needed some education and soon I, was teaching hundreds of them in a graduate course, “Family Life and Sexuality Education” at a variety of high schools, credited by Jersey City State College. When I retired as a high school teacher and became Director of Education at Planned Parenthood we began developing our sex positive teaching manuals, and 26 years ago we held the First Annual Family Life Education Conference – all thanks to Susie Wilson’s Mandate! But for me there’s even more. For my retirement, you designed a Center for Family Life Education needlepoint; for my 70th birthday party you travelled from Princeton with a huge poster board covered with photos and articles you’d dug up of long forgotten workshops and conferences; and when I founded the Sexuality and Aging Consortium four years ago, you became a Member, my trusted advisor, and a key contributor. Susie you’re a genius at celebrating people and empowering them.

I wonder how many of you have a “Thank You Susie Wilson” story you’d love to tell. I know she’d love to read it; send it to: Susie.Wilson@comcast.net!

With thanks from us all and from thousands of unknown adolescents nationwide, here’s a Golden Brick for Susie Wilson.

Editor's Note:  The Golden Brick Award, established in 2005 and named for Peggy Brick honors outstanding leaders in sexuality educaiton.  Past recipients include Eva S. Goldfarb, Sue Montfort, Carole Adamsbaum, Robert T. Francoeur, Joan O'Leary, and Peggy Brick.

Sex Ed Conference Reflections from a Religious Educator



Tuli Patel



By Tuli Patel

Director of Religious Education

The Unitarian Church in Summit

This year there were no picketers, no loud angry voices, no police cars by the dozens. A little disappointing at first, but I was thankful for the lack of fear as I walked to my car in the parking lot in the dark.

I’ve been attending the Sex Ed Conference hosted by the Center For Family Life Education for five years or so. It’s always the highlight of the fall for me – I facilitate Our Whole Lives, a comprehensive sexuality education curriculum at my place of work – The Unitarian Church in Summit.

What makes these two days so special is to be in a room with like-minded people who are committed to sexuality education, regardless of venue. Instead of arguing where sex ed should occur – homes, schools, or houses of worship – we come together to consider how to make it better, more appropriate, and of contemporary value for our youth. We attend workshops that not only dispel some commonly held beliefs (not all teens are sexting- the statistic is actually only 1% if those over 18 are not counted) but also hear of new methods and techniques – not based on fear or abstinence, but on a real examination of values. Listening to Amy Kramer of the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy speak of how to use the MTV show "16 and Pregnant" to facilitate conversations among teens about their decision making is not only inspiring, but has real life applications.

The program I facilitate – Our Whole Lives – has been described as “The Gold Standard” in sexuality education. It is a publicly available comprehensive sex ed program in the US – and yet, it is a well-kept secret. I want its impact to be far more wide-reaching than it is; instead of reaching the 30 or so kids that go through it every year with me, I want to bring it to the millions. The conference reinforces my commitment and opens doors of possibilities in making this happen.

Sex Is Normal!

by Sheri Winston, CNM, RN, BSN, LMT

IntimateArtsCenter.com

I’m just back from the CFLE Sex Ed Conference and reminded of a few things. One – I love hanging out with other people who think sex is normal, that talking about sex is normal and that learning about sex is, absolutely normal.

Being not just a teacher, but a perpetual student, I, as always, learned new things. Here are a few gems that I picked up.

The first was from the excellent Sex and Happiness presentation, given by Molly Stranahan & Bill Taverner. They spoke of the distinction between happiness and pleasure. Although I quibble with the idea that pleasure is necessarily fleeting (after all, I teach how to have extended orgasms!), I really do get that happiness is a sustained and sustainable condition that includes long-term satisfaction, contentment and purpose.

The other piece that stays with me is from Al Vernacchio’s excellent presentation, You’re Out, Baseball! A New Model for Teaching the Concept of Sexual Activity. I’ve been a critic of the baseball metaphor for sex for a very long time, while fascinated that it still holds such sway. But I hadn’t spent much time recently dissecting the ‘sex as baseball’ model. In his entertaining and informative presentation, I was reminded about one of the fundamentally problematic issues. The baseball-sex model is inherently sexist and dehumanizing since it makes the women the field the game is played upon while the man is the player. I very much appreciated his alternate model. (I’m not telling what that is – it will ruin the plot for you if you ever get the privilege of enjoying him present). However, his model is cooperative, pleasure-filled, egalitarian and delicious!

I look forward to future tasty, informative and useful CFLE conferences – a place for all us sex geeks to share, learn and get our batteries charged up to head back out into the world where sex is not yet normal.€